NEW  TAG  DROP  PART  2 !!  ( bc i hate myself.  )

richie. ❜

                richie was NEVER ashamed of who he was——  he’d embraced becoming a culebra with open arms.  it was the thing he always felt was missing in his life  &  even with the terrible side effects it came with, it was everything he wanted to be.  but it was also the very thing that he always felt he was: A MONSTER.  it was the very thing that he was trying to protect kate of because there were times when the hunger would get too much that it would cloud his mind  &  he wouldn’t be so in control of himself as he always seems to be.  most of the time he’s just GRASPING at the seams trying to keep them together  &  it as his unspoken fear that one day she’d get caught in the crossfires.  it was why he spent all his efforts to try  &  keep her away, but during days like these he couldn’t—–  &  the danger lay in the fact that he hadn’t fed in nearly a week  &  she was there, a main food supply for his species.  fingernails DUG into the palms of his hands as he closed his eyes  &  shielded his fangs from her, jaw so set that he was sure it’d shatter if he wasn’t careful as she touched him  &  his body was tense; so tense.  ❛  maybe you SHOULD be,  ❜  he said what felt like minutes later when his fangs disappeared, but his eyes were still bright yellow when he opened them, a slither of black down the middle.  his hands reached up to grab her upper arms  &  he stepped forward, pushing her back until she bumped into something solid, yet he wasn’t rough.  he was being held together by tape  &  glue but he didn’t want to hurt her.  ❛  maybe you should be afraid, kate, cause one day i might not be able to restrain myself from feeding on you.  &  goddamn it, you have no idea how much i wanna feed on you..  ❜  one hand lifted to DRAG his finger along her collarbone to push back dark locks of hair, exposing her delicate neck.  ❛  this hunger, i can’t explain it.  &  i’ll hurt you——–    one day, i WILL hurt you.  ❜ 

                       _{❝  do   it.  ❞      she  didn’t  flinch  when  her  back  hit   THE   WALL.   she  just  uttered  the  two  word  sentence ,   simple  but  catching  her  completely  off  guard.  she  had  meant  what  she  said ;   SHE   WASN’T   AFRAID   OF   HIM.   as  dangerous  as  he  was ,   she   TRUSTED   HIM.   but  that..  she  had  never  been  expecting  that.  it  was  one  thing  for  him  to  want  to  feed  from  her.  she  could  have  seen  that  coming  a  mile  away.  they’d  been  intimate  in   SO   MANY   WAYS.   she  didn’t  know  how  he  kept  himself  from  tearing  out  her  throat  most  nights.  he’d  always  made  it  look  so  easy ,   like  nothing  bothered  him.  she  couldn’t  imagine  what  kind  of  weight  that  meant  he  had  to  carry ,   but  she  wanted  to  ease   SOME   OF   IT.   her  head  tipped  to  the  side.  she  exposed  more  of  her  neck  to  him ,   eyes  never  straying  from  his  as  teeth  sunk  into  her  lower  lip.      ❝  y-you…   you   won’t   hurt   me.  ❞      it  was  the  equivalent  of  placing  her  life   IN   HIS   HANDS.   there  was  still  a  small  voice  in  the  back  of  her  head  that  screamed  at  her.  she  was  being   STUPID   &   RECKLESS.   a  naive  little  girl  that  believed  whatever  they  felt  for  each  other  would  conquer  it  all.  but  she  also  remembered  her  brother.  how   EASY   it  had  been  for  him  to  topple  over  his  urges  because  he  had  been   DENYING   HIMSELF.   if  richie  continued  to  restrain  himself ,   he   WOULD   HURT   HER.   he  might  even  kill  her  one  days.  fingers  again  lifted ,   tracing  his  jaw  as  if  she  was  committing  it  to  memory.  a  smile  set  across  her  lip ,   small  but  vulnerable.      ❝  i   trust   you ,   richie.   i-i   know   you’ll   be   able   to   stop.  ❞}

richie. ❜

                ^{convincing her why promises of the HEART is not something she should dip into would be just as hard as convincing her that her feelings for him were probably something she fabricated in her mind.  an excuse to make everything feel okay because love overpowers all, right?  the fact that he’s a MONSTER, the fact that he needs to feed on human blood to survive———–   how could anyone, especially someone like kate fuller, love someone like that?  he didn’t understand it  &  it made him want to shut her out even more, quit her cold turkey.  but hurting her wasn’t something he could do——   not after THIS.  ❛  i don’t want you promising me that, okay?  just say you’ll try your hardest  &  i’ll be just as happy.  ❜  because in all honesty, he wasn’t sure if one day he’d want her to say it to him.  to remind him, to reassure him.  ❛  no————   you should stay.  if you want, kate.  i don’t think it’d be wise for me to be alone right now anyway..  ❜  it felt like a WEIGHT lifted, being open with her, being real with her; not just the cold robot he always was, leaving things as they were on the surface without stripping away any layers.  his hand dropped from hers as arms circled around her face  &  he leaned in to bury his face in the crook of her neck, hugging her gently, just needing to feel her near him, needing the comfort only she can provide.  ❛  STAY.  ❜} 

                       _{she  almost  didn’t  know  how  she  was  supposed  to  answer  him.  this  was  a  side  she’d   NEVER   SEEN   BEFORE.   this  gentle ,   caring ,   and  open  piece  of  his  soul  that  she  had  always  known  existed.  it  was  the  side  she   FOUGHT   AND   BEGGED   AND   PLEADED   with  him  to  let  her  see.  day  in  and  day  out.  the  same  fights ,   over  and  over.  it  captivated  her.  sent  chills  down  her  spine.  and  only  proved  to  make  her  fall  more  in  love  with  him.  fingers  threaded  into  the  ends  of  his  hair.  she  shifted  in  her  spot ,   tucking  her  legs  under  her  butt ,   and  pulled  herself  up  to  almost  cradle  him.      ❝  y-you   never   have   to   be   alone ,   richie.   i’m   here.   i-i’m   always   here.  ❞      she  held  him  against  her ,   as  close  as  she  could ,   fingers  working  through  his  hair  with  a  feather  like  touch.  her  head  relaxed  against  his  and  it  took  all  her  strength  not  to  press  her  lips  into  his  hair.  she  didn’t  want  to  push  him ,   NOT   NOW.      ❝  i’m   not   goin’   anywhere.  ❞      A   PROMISE.   words  she  had  told  him  a  hundred  times  before ,   and  would  happily  repeat  every  day.  twice  a  day  until  he  believed  in  them ,   in  her.}

richie. ❜

              ^{❛  protecting you’s all i got, kate.  ❜  because he couldn’t GIVE her what she wanted  &  it felt like life was playing a cruel joke on him, echoing words of someone he vowed never to think about again looping in his mind.  he couldn’t love her, he couldn’t give her the attention, the CARING she deserved, but he could protect her.  &  that also included protecting her from all that he was, all the darkness that could swallow her whole  &  create someone that she wouldn’t recognize when she looked in the mirror.  he couldn’t do that——-  snuff out the only light, the only GOOD that his world had.   ❛  &  you  &  i both know you can’t promise something like that.  ❜  but he was willing to try  &  he hoped that if there was a next time, his reaction would be a lot less violent.  with his hand still in hers, he leaned forward, shifting so that he was knelt on the ground in front of her, SITTING back on his shin then brought up her hand to his lips for a small kiss.  ❛  real question’s where do we go from here?  i hurt you..  &  i didn’t mean to  &  it would only be fair if you hurt me back.  i’d give you full permission to punch me, but that MIGHT hurt you even more.  ❜}

             _{❝   why   not ?   ❞   the  question  rolled  off  her  tongue ,   spilling  into  the  air  with  a  force  that  nearly  cracked  the  moment  between  them.  her  tone  was  laced  with  hints  of  how   OFFENDED   she  felt.  it  displayed  the  cracks  in  her  heart  and  she  could  only  pray ;   don’t  let  him  see  those.  the  last  thing  she  wanted  was  to  put  more  weight  onto  his  shoulders.  he  already  carried  so  much ;   more  than  (  she  thought  )  he  even  realized.   ❝   i   can   promise   it ,   a-and   i   just   did.   i’m   not   sayin’   i’ll   stop   feeling   that   way.   o-or   thinkin’   it.   but…   i   won’t   say   it.   ❞   and  when  his  lips  brushed  against  her  skin ,   she  felt  a  tremble   RETURN   to  her  bones.  he  was  gentle.  so  gentle   &   such  a  harsh  contrast  to  how  they  had  been  only  minutes  prior.  her  fingers  twisted  within  his  grasp ,   moving  slowly  and  treating  him  in  the  same  gentle  manner.  they  grazed  across  his  jawline ,   while  her  gaze  locked  onto  his.  her  head  shook  as  his  words  continued ,   freeing  a  few  more  tears.  but  she  hardly  payed  them  any  mind.   ❝   n-no.   richie ,   i   don’t   wanna   hurt   you.   I   COULD   NEVER   DO   THAT.   ——   d-do   you   still   want   me   to   leave ?   ❞}   

richie. ❜

                ^{it felt as if he were TORN in two  &  yet it wasn’t unfamiliar.  ever since he was a little kid walking around with no real idea of what the world was really like, he’d always felt like he was on the wrong side of the coin; like there was something holding him back, pushing him away.  &  it was no different when it came to kate.  on one end, he WANTED to open up to her, wanted to be able to tell her everything he felt for her, everything he felt in general, but on the other end, he was terrified of her seeing him for the monster he really was.  &  how could she KNOW she wouldn’t see him in that way?  her eyes have seen so much hurt  &  pain, but they’d never seen so much blood on a person’s hand who hid it so well.  his fingers stretched out towards hers, buds resting on top of quivering knuckles as wet blue eyes dared peak up at hers  &  he wanted nothing more than to kiss the pain that crawled up her throat away.  ❛  you don’t know me, kate.  you THINK you do, but you don’t—–   &  i don’t want you to get to know that other side of me.  you’ve seen enough..  ❜  his eyes dropped back down to their hands, his index inching to trace the skin on her wrist.  ❛  it’s not something i’m USED to hearing..  truth be told, it scares me.  more than i’ll admit.  ❜}

             _{palms  stayed   OPEN ;   facing  the  heavens  though  her  eyes  rolled  to  a  close  so  she  could  fully  lose  herself  in  the  feeling  of  his  fingertips.  the  way  they  caressed  her  skin ,   when  she  had  been  so  sure  he’d  never  touch  her  again.  inch  by  inch  her  worries  settled.  the  waves  of  anxiety  crashing  into  her  slowed  to  a  much  more  steady  and  manageable  rhythm.  he  was  there.  for  that  moment ,   he  wasn’t  walking  away  from  her.  and  when  green  eyes  did  blink  open ,   seeing  their  blue  counterparts  glossed  over  with  tears  that   MATCHED   hers  ——  a  sigh  worked  through  her  lips.   ❝   richie.   y-you…   you   gotta   stop   tryin’   to   protect   me.   i-i   can   make   my   own   decisions.   and…   if   i   say   i   wanna   get   to   know   this   other   side   of   you ,   that’s   my   choice.   it’s   still   up   to   you   if   you   wanna   share   it   but..   don’t   hide   yourself   because   i’ve   seen   enough.   ❞   any  other  day  and  they  would  have  been   FIGHTING.   this  would  have  been  a  full  blown  argument.  the  both  of  them  on  their  feet  and  tossing  words  around  with   VENOMOUS   intent.  to  see  them  now ,   speaking  in  such  hushed  tones…  it  fueled  her  hope.   ❝   a-and   i   should   have   known   that.   i   won’t   say   it   again ,   okay ?   i   promise.   ❞}   

richie. ❜

                 ^{heavy lids fluttered over his blue eyes as he tried to allow himself to feel something other than he anger he usually bathed himself in——   he wanted to allow himself to FEEL everything kate offered to him even if he repeated to himself more times than she’ll ever know that he doesn’t deserve even a fraction of it.  his mental capacity was not broad enough to handle the emotions that radiated from her lips pressed against his palm, coursing through his veins like some addicting drug  &  settling in an organ that had long ago been crumbled like a WEAK piece of paper; unable to straighten out ever again.  he leaned down to press his forehead against hers, the hand dropping to wrap around her neck gently——   so unlike the other times he touched her with an urgency, as if it were more of a convenience.  &  now, he wanted to show her that he WAS capable of being soft, of caressing the curve of her neck with feather like kisses.  he wanted to show her before it was gone  &  he returned back to hiding behind the wall that kept them apart more often than not.   ❛  i have no fucking idea why you still even bother with me, kate————   but i’m.. i’m GLAD that you do. ❜  the tip of his nose traced along the lining of her jaw before their lips were hovering over each other, his flesh connecting with hers gingerly.  ❛  &  between you  &  me——  you’re MUCH better company than seth.  ❜   a genuine smile spread over his lips before pressing them against hers, his hand on her neck pulling her closer, his tongue parting flesh  &  tasting the essence of her that he’d grown so used to.  ——the kiss lasted no longer than ten seconds, unfortunately, before he pulled  &  turned away with his face twisting into one of a MONSTER; yellow eyes  &  deadly sharp teeth.}

             _{each  of  his  touches  were  a  strike  of   LIGHTNING ,   sparking  her  soul.  the  reminder  that  he  could  be  gentle ;   that  he  wasn’t  going  to  break  her  because  she  let  her  guard  down.  there  was  still  a  mile  long  list  of  thing  she  wanted  to  tell  him ,   things  he  needed  to  hear  her  say  ——  but  his  lips  made  it  too  easy  to  get  lost  in  the  moment.  ten  seconds.  ten  blissful  seconds  where  she  could  let  go  of  everything ,   all  the  feeling  she  spent  so  much  time  locking  away  and  keeping  hidden  for  his  benefit  now  poured  into  his  lips.  but  as  fast  as  he  appeared ,   he  was  gone.  the  slap  of  cold  air  left  her  trembling.  it  was  a  feeling  she   SHOULD   have  been  familiar  with ,   but  always  managed  to  catch  her  off  guard.   ❝    richie.   ❞   she  spoke  low  enough  that  only  his  ears  would’ve  been  able  to  catch  it.  a  hand  came  to  rest  on  the  back  of  his  arm ,   fingers  gently  brushing  against  the  fabric  of  his  shirt.  she  wasn’t  an  idiot.  she  knew  exactly  why  he  had  pulled  away   &   why  he  wouldn’t  look  at  her  now.  it  didn’t  matter.  she  wasn’t  afraid  of  him ,   even  if  she  should  have  been.  the  steps  she  took ,   moving  around  him  until  her  gaze  could  lock  on  his  features ,   were  confident.  even  the  fingers  that  follow ,   skimming  across  his  jawline  and  up  to  follow  the  curve  of  his  lips  ——  they  didn’t  shake  or  hesitate.   ❝    d-don’t.   i’m   not…   i’m   not   scared   of   you.   a-and   i   don’t   want   you   to   feel   like   you   have   to   hide   who   you   are.   n-not   from   me.   ❞}

suavegecko:

              _{he wasn’t sure how much time had passed between the second he turned to look at kate, the question at the tip of his tongue automatically disappearing, lips curling into a small smile. she was on the bed, legs tucked under her wearing nothing but his button up from last night  &  hair a collective mess on top of her head.  her face was clear, still groggy from the early morning  &  light nude colored nails clicked quickly on the keyboard before her thumb reached up to nestle between two rows of teeth, nibbling silently with squinted eyes reading something on the screen.}  

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richie. ❜

              ^{❛  no..  ❜  he whispered, the short word MUFFLED against his palms as finger pressed tightly against his eyes, wishing he could feel the pain as he dug deeper  &  deeper.  he needed to feel something else than the REAL raw emotion that swirled within him  &  yet it seemed to be the only thing plaguing his mind  &  he knew that it wouldn’t stop unless she was far away from him.  but kate’s proven that she wouldn’t leave him; no matter how many times he yelled, how many times he PUSHED her, she wouldn’t leave.  but there was always going to be that fear in the back of his mind that one day he’ll wake up  &  she’ll be nothing bit a distant memory.   ❛  no, it’s not me, but do you really think the guy behind the mask is so much better, kate?  sometimes, i don’t even know who i am, EXCEPT for when i’m with you because that’s when i feel the most..  alive.  the most human  &  part of me hates it.  part of me hates you.  ❜  he finally dropped his hands to look up at her, dropping his head back against the edge of the table.   ❛  why CAN’T i hate you.. ?  ❜}

             _{BECAUSE  YOU  LOVE  ME  TOO.   and  god ,   how  she  wanted  to  scream  that  in  his  face.  for  that  split  second  she  wanted  to  force  him  to  confront  the  feeling  he’d  been  pushing  away.  but  she  had  never  been  that  kind  of  selfish.  it  wasn’t  in  her.  and  she’d  already  crossed  enough  lines  for  the  night.  the  rest  of  their  time  together  would  be  spent…  walking  on  eggshells.  tip  toeing  around  because  she  couldn’t..  she  wouldn’t  let  this  be  the  end.   ❝   be-because   that’s   not   who   you   are.   ❞   another  step  was  taken  towards  him.  knees  trembled ,   and  when  she  lowered  herself  down  to  his  eye  level  —  it  was  done  ever  so  carefully.  the  kind  of  practiced  manner  that  if  she  didn’t  focus ,   she’d  end  up  collapsing  at  his  feet.  and  when  her  hands  reached  forward ,   fingers  yearning  to  brush  again  his ,   she  was  very  much  aware  of  how  badly  she  was  shaking.   ❝   a-and   i…   i   don’t   want   you   to   hate   me ,   richie.   i’m   sorry.   i-i..   i   shouldn’t   have   said   anything.   ❞}