Drunk/Drinking Starters 


  •  ❝ I do not get drunk-- I get awesome. ❞

  •   ❝ I didn't fall... the floor just needed a hug. ❞

  •   ❝ Wanna know what rhymes with drunk? Sex. ❞

  •   ❝ Nothing tastes as good as drunk feels. ❞

  •   ❝ I've had... eleventy twelve beers. ❞

  •   ❝ I've been cheating on you with a guy named Morgan. He's a captain. ❞

  •   ❝ I'm not as drunk as I use to was. ❞

  •   ❝ Halloween? More like Hallowe-’re getting fucked up. ❞

  •   ❝ What do you expect me to do- I'm drunk! ❞

  •   ❝ But then I remember that alcohol existed. ❞

  •   ❝ It’s not called slurring your words. It’s called talking in cursive and it’s fucking elegant. ❞

  •   ❝ I’m totally walking straight, but this damn Earth is drunk! ❞

  •   ❝ If you can’t suck a cigarette, you sure as hell can’t suck a dick! ❞

  •   ❝ I wanna bae you up. ❞

  •   ❝ You're so drunk when I'm pretty. ❞

  •   ❝ It's 10;30 and I'm already fucking wasted… ❞

  •   ❝ I'm almost sober... ❞

  •   ❝ We are best friends now. Yeah c'mere, let's get drunk again. ❞

  •   ❝ Why do people wear boxers? They’re just like small pants. ❞

  •   ❝ I am currently dating a tall bottle of Jack Daniels. ❞

  •   ❝ I’m in Pirates of the Caribbean right now. ❞

  •   ❝ Take me drunk I’m home. ❞

  •   ❝ Let’s go dress up like Batman and Robin and patrol the neighborhood. ❞

  •   ❝ Your kitchen is so far away. Who designed this shit? ❞

  •   ❝ Your cat... has it always had a German accent? ❞

 
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  27. saekosei-moved posted this

well that girl


stand      up,     warrior.
you are not yet finished.
b e a t e n you may be, but broken? angels  have  fallen  from greater     heights      and
s  u r v i v  e  d.
so why  shouldn’t  you  ?

is long gone.


independent & highly selective kate fuller.

EST: SEPT. 9, 2016.
as told by lizz.